We're In This Thing Together
Never mind the fact that you’re going to be legally linked to someone for the foreseeable rest of your lives, planning a party for 100-plus can get mighty stressful for a couple, says Dale V. Atkins, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychologist and author of “Wedding Sanity Savers” (Broadway Books, 2005).
Take these steps to alleviate some of the anxiety à deux:
Newlyweds-to-be definitely do better when they put energy into issues related to their relationship and life ahead, not just their event, Atkins says. “The wedding is one evening and their marriage is for a lifetime.” She encourages couples to turn off their phones and get to know each other better, sharing their views on things like children, religion, financial responsibilities, housework, how they like to spend their free time, and things they’d like to do similarly or differently from their own parents. These moments also are a great time to share all the things you love and admire about each other, and what you look forward to in the future you’ll be creating together.
Plan several mini-vacations during which there’s nothing wedding-related on the agenda, advises Lauren Housley, owner and lead coordinator at Chicago-based Ryan Alexander Events. It will keep you excited, connected and refreshed.
Don’t forget to keep going on dates. Try new things that are romantic and relaxing, such as going wine tasting, says Housley. Or sign up for class where you can learn something new together, like cooking or dancing, Atkins says.
Consider training for a race or volunteering – something that gets you working as a team, suggests Housley. It will take your mind off your to-do list and help you feel like a strong, mutually supportive unit.
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